Why No Brain Enhancements

You know, it is really interesting what modern medicine can do today. You can get a new heart, a new liver or a replacement kidney. If you don't like your nose, you can change it. If you don't like your breasts, you can enlarge them. According to the million or so emails I get everyday, you can increase the size of your johnson with a little pill.

You can straighten your teeth. You can correct your vision. Your hearing can be improved by a hearing aide, although why they advertise on radio, I don't know.

You can get an instant tan or fake nails. You can add or remove tatoos with ease.

Luckily, you can get replacement limbs if you lose one.

You can fight the signs of aging with a face lift. You can fight the signs of overeating with a tummy tuck or a liposuction. You can enlarge your butt, put hair on your bald head or remove hair from your upper lip.

It is amazing what you can do today. However, one area is missing. We don't yet have the technology to make you smarter.

My challenge to the scientific community is to develop the technology to make people smarter. I need to challenge the scientific community to do this because I currently lack the brain power to do it myself. Its the whole chicken-egg thing.

Here is the goal: I want a device that allows me to learn new things quickly and without much effort. It should be small and convenient. I don't want it to be too cheap though. If everyone can get smarter, then it kind of defeats the whole benefit of me being smarter. Its the same as everyone getting a million dollars, it diminishes the value through rapid inflation.

I have thought this through and figure that a small USB port in the head should work well.

Although I don't want everyone to have access to this device, I think there are a few people who should be early-adopters. To avoid politicizing this too much, I will not say their names. Although I will give you a hint: He is elected, from Texas and is the leader of the free world. But I want to be second in line.

So get to work smart guys. I expect a product on the shelves of Office Depot or WalMart by Christmas.